Ghetto Sled

Sorry about the hiatus, but I made the trek back down to New Orleans this weekend. Alex pulled through surgery with no problem; thanks to all the well-wishers & moms who calmed my nerves.

I made a decision on the five hour trip to New Orleans. The day that I snap, I’m going to get the biggest, longest, most-destructive-hunk-of-junk-metal-death-trap-ghetto-sled I can find and physically shove people out of the fast lane. I HATE people who cruise in the fast lane. There’s a special lane for people who like to drive fifteen miles an hour under the speed limit; GET IN IT!

I had plenty of time to research this (ten hours total), and this is by no means a racial slur, but the biggest offenders are big black women on cell phones. I don’t understand it. I think it’s a diva issue. I don’t mind if you’re fat, black & proud, but do you have to scream for attention in the fast lane? Granted, not all of the offenders fit this description, but HONESTLY, about 65% did. PLEASE, She-na-na, BACK THAT ASS UP and MOVE OVER! It’s enough to drive a white girl crazy! The other biggest offenders were at the opposite end of the spectrum; old white men. They also seem to have caught the superiority complex that gives them the right to block the fast lane. I don’t care if you have oil & gas money; if you drive a Lincoln then you can afford to go 10 miles an hour faster. What a great time to become an environmentalist; you’ll drill for oil in protected wildlife preserves, but you drive 45 MPH in your Land Rover because “It’s the right thing to do.”

I’ll tellling you, I’m going out Thelma & Louise style. Maybe a old Ford LTD, running down I-10 with a brush-guard on the front, plunking people like a pinball. If I can scare the crap out of just one person, the highways will be better for someone else.

Sometimes you gotta take one for the team.

This entry was posted on May 22, 2006 at 5:40 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.



2 Responses to “Ghetto Sled”

  1.   Thunderfish Says:
    May 22nd, 2006 at 9:53 am

    SWEEEEET! Invite me when you get the urge and I’ll help identify targets!

    ~Jef

  2.   Jedi Says:
    May 24th, 2006 at 1:30 am

    I find large American made, late model, pickup trucks with full replacement bumper installed to be much more effective at clearing out the fast lane. Just ask the Volvo’s, Lexus’s, BMW’s, etc that get cleared out daily on US59.