Suburban Goddess

I was reading CNN on my lunch break, and came across a story about “Me Time.” Here’s a small excerpt:

In their recent book, What Women Really Want, pollsters Celinda Lake and Kellyanne Conway discovered that women across all strata of society feel overwhelmed with the insatiable demands on them. When they asked what women wanted more of in their lives, the two most popular answers were “peace” and “time.” They were talking about a sense of serenity and control over their lives. The women polled also said they would like more sleep, and that they battle the “guilt that creeps in whenever they take a break.”

ACK! I AM NOT ALONE!

Motherhood is the biggest challenge I have ever faced so far in my life. Working motherhood is twice as stressful. Those of you working mothers who have more than one child, well, either you are a wicked sadist or there is a special place in heaven designated just for you. That section separated by a velvet rope where women sleep soundly while a Chippandale rubs her feet in a clean home and a child who replies, “Yes, Mother,” to your every request.

Guilt is not a new experience for me in life. I was raised Catholic; I KNOW guilt. But the guilt that you encounter as a mother comes from a different place. It affects you deeper than you thought possible. It makes you doubt yourself, and eventually, the world around you. As I try to work through this guilt, I’ve been traveling down the road to a dark place, a place that sent me so deep into a state of negativity that I began to wonder if I will ever find my way back. It came to a head this weekend, when I realized that if I don’t change, I will not only lose everything that I love, but I will pass that legacy onto the very child I want to protect from it. But the irony is, to make myself happier, I have to remove myself from the very people that currently bring me joy. Not for long, but just for an hour or two.

It’s been so long since I’ve given myself “Me Time” that I have to step back and look around for a moment. What does a person such as myself DO during “Me Time”? I hate to fall into the cliché and go to the spa. Somebody touching my feet (other than a Chippendale) really kind of creeps me out. I suppose I could take up reading again, but when I start a book, I hate to put it down until it’s finished.

I guess the idea of “Me Time” is so important now because without it, I won’t BE ME anymore. I’d just be Kristie the Mom, Kristie the Graphic Artist, Kristie the Wife…. if your actions define who you are, I just want to be more than the roles I fill.

This entry was posted on September 18, 2006 at 9:52 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.