Suburban Goddess

We awoke in the Utah desert to a steady downpour. After yesterday’s drop-off into the water-filled ravine at Hell’s Revenge, we decided to take the easier routes today. The first of the trails was called Cliffhanger, a hair-raising jount along the rim of a canyon. It was here that I realized, America has not become completely wussified, but I have.

As our Jeep sat precariously on a ledge wide enough to accomodate a mountain goat, I leaned over to kiss the side of the mountain, a final goodbye to this existance I didn’t realize I loved so much until this moment.

I have found the cure for depression. It’s called near-death experience.

My husband opted for safety, and we turned back before the ledge washed away. By the time we reached the bottom of the canyon, the tiny creek had swelled significantly, but we made it across safely. We decided to follow the main road, and reached another small creek crossing. Pushing forward, we were rewarded with some more of the most beautiful scenery I have ever encountered. Around a towering wall of rock, a waterfall had formed from the water running off the mountain. I figured out where Tim Burton had his inspiration for Willy Wonka’s chocolate waterfall. Picture coming soon.

We continued on for about another half hour before reaching another creek crossing running too quickly to cross. We turned around to head back, listening to weather reports of thunderstorms, small hail, and flash flooding. When we reached the first creek, we found most of the road washed away. My husband decided to give it a try, so I picked my feet and camera bag off the floorboard. The front tires of the Jeep disappeared almost immediately, and husband slammed it into reverse before we could be swept away.

So here I sit, soaking wet, at the bottom of a canyon, typing furiously on a dying Blackberry with no signal, waiting for the flood waters to recede.

Fast Forward….seven hours later…

A yuppie biker family arrived at the crossing to find it impassable…. much to their disappointment, because their campsite was on OUR side. After a couple more hours of waiting, we struck a deal; we would switch vehicles until morning.

You know you have to hit a state of desparation when you hand the keys of your car over to a TOTAL stranger on THE SIDE OF A MOUNTAIN, without inquiring a single moment on the person’s driving status or state of insurance. But they were the adventerous type, and thankfully, so are we. So my husband threw the winch cable over to the opposite side, they secured it tightly to a tree, then commenced to climbing across the rope, Fear-Factor style, hanging above a raging creek in rapidly plumeting temperatures while RAINING. Then they looked at me.

I have to tell you, I thought I knew the limits of my body, and upper-body strength is NOT one of them. But as I looked at a night in cold, Utah rainy weather in a Jeep with a bikini top with the inability to recline the seats vs. climbing a rope to a warm bath and soft hotel bed with a glass of wine & some warm food, I resolved to toughen up and give it a try. Halfway across the creek my arms began to shake furiously and my leg slipped over the winch rope, sliding up to the back of my knee and leaving a huge bruise on the back of my calf. I could hear everyone cheering for me, and for a moment, I felt empowered. Okay, so if I fell, I’d just be standing in three feet of cold water, but damn it, this was an adventure! So I ignored the pain in my hands and continued to pull myself across. When I reached the other side, I felt a sense of accomplishment that I haven’t felt in years. Finally, all those stupid 5 am workouts had a purpose!

This has been more than I ever expected of this vacation, and this is still the beginning. As I lay my head down on the pillow tonight, freshly showered, warm & cozy, I am sending out a thank you to my husband for this incredible experience.

He’s somewhere on the side on a mountain, sleeping in the Jeep. If you see him, tell him I love him!

This entry was posted on October 9, 2006 at 9:33 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.