The World Went & Got Itself In A Big Damn Hurry….
This morning, before bringing my daughter to her 18-month checkup, we had a family breakfast at McDonald’s. After we ate, we were walking back to the car when a Honda came whipping past and slid into the space next to the driver’s side of the car, leaving about a foot & a half between the vehicles. An older gentleman, gray & thin on top, jumped out, leaving the radio on in the car. I could hear the conservative talk radio station inside, and I chuckled to myself.
“There’s a Republican for you,” I joked at my husband, who was now trying to slide the baby into her seat carefully with limited amount of space to manuever in. Have you ever tried to squeeze an 18-month-old into an opening only a foot wide? Because I tell you, you would be more successful trying to nail Jell-O to a tree.
Apparently, Republican Grandpa changed his mind while inside & came back out, climbed into his car, and started to back up. I watched in disbelief as our car door (with my husband standing there), hit his car, and he still continued to back up. The space was closing quickly, and my husband turned and peered in the window.
“What the hell is your problem??” he exclaimed. Republican Grandpa ignored him and continued to back out. At this point, my alter egos kicked in and began to have a conversation of their own.
Evil Kristie: “Hey, it’s a company car! Open the door a little & take out his paint job! It’s his fault anyway.”
Nice Kristie: “Maybe he’s having an emergency. Maybe his cholesterol is taking a dangerous spike into healthy, & he needs a fix to survive!”
Evil Kristie: “At least hit his hood or something. Give his Pacemaker something to do!”
By the time I made up my mind to do something, the moment had passed, & Republican Grandpa had disappeared among the maze of trees that is The Woodlands.
I must warn you, I’m getting more in touch with my aggressive side every day that passes. Soon, someone will unleash The Redneck Within, and then there will be hell to pay…. but in the meantime, I’ll just post my little passive-aggressive bouts of schizophrenia here, and hope that some jerk will recognize himself & change his ways.
October 31st, 2006 at 9:09 am
A couple of years ago my hubby printed a bunch of stickers on day-glo orange sticky-back that said, “next time leaving a fucking can opener” and he would put them on the windows of cars that parked to close. I often wish for one of those stickers. Sounds like you could have used an entire sheet. But I am proud that you were such the model of restraint!!!!