Suburban Goddess

As I write this, my husband is currently moving out of the home we share together. Thankfully, I’m not there to watch (or help, for that matter, since everything he’s taking with him is upstairs). But it brings me full circle in my life once again; I’m starting over.

He gets irritated with me when I say things like that, but when I come home today, it will be to nobody. The house will be painfully quiet, and I will have to deal with that. He’s not asking for a divorce, yet. It’s that ominous YET that I can’t get past. I thought our holidays were going well, but apparently, they weren’t.

It is an awful feeling, the feeling of not being wanted or loved. He claims I’ve made him feel that way for over two years. I can’t imagine having this feeling for two entire years & NOT GETTING VOCAL ABOUT IT. As in, “HEY, YOU ASSHOLE! I WOULD LIKE A LITTLE ATTENTION OVER HERE, or else I’m going to MOVE OUT.” That might have gotten my attention. Perhaps I might have done something then. But hindsight really doesn’t help me out here; it’s truly too little, too late.

He thinks this may ignite the spark that has fled our marriage. But to me, it’s the equivalent of dumping a bucket of ice water on it. There’s nothing left to do but sweep up the ashes.

This entry was posted on December 27, 2006 at 11:31 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.