Where Did My Baby Go?
Over the past two weeks my beautiful, sweet baby girl has began the transformation into the spawn of Satan. Before you blast me for being a horrible mother, consider the evidence:
1.) Playtime with Bubby (the dog) now consists of whacking him with her toys and pulling his long black hair. Thankfully, he is a patient and docile creature, but it has become a common occurence for us to meet eyes while she has a handful of hair, his expression one of pained suffering, as if to say, “Lady, how much more of this must I endure?” To which I reply, “Sorry, Bubby, but she does it to me, too.”
2.) Hitting Mommy. I was completely taken aback the other day when I tried to remove a box of raisins from her grasp & was rewarded with a smack and a growl. Satan, get thee out of my child!
3.) Spitting. I thought I’d escaped this lovely little habit, but apparently she was just growing into it. Trying to be a kind & loving Mommy, I gave her a small piece of a candy bar after dinner. She feigned wanting a kiss from me, so I leaned in (SUCKER!) and SPLAT! Slobbery chocolate cookie goodness all over my face. Linda Blair has nothing on this child. I swear, I waited for her head to spin around.
Kicking, screaming, hitting, spitting, and just general meanness is starting to surface. I was so taken aback by the change of behavior that I solicited the advice of my therapist, afraid that my marital situation might be part of the problem. But my husband and I have never been physical in our altercations. Hell, we don’t even yell. But my therapist assured me, there is absolutely nothing unusual about this behavior. In fact, she laughed gently at my concern.
“She’s just testing her independence,” she smiled encouragingly.
My God! How is one supposed to deal with this? I am at my wit’s end! Time to dust off the rosary and head down to the church for a little holy water. Rough waters ahead!
January 3rd, 2007 at 6:12 am
Welcome to toddler hell. I’ve put out a red carpet for you…it’s covered in spit and bananas, but it’s there, really. Don’t worry - your therapist is right. She’s just testing, testing. Wants to know where the boundaries are. And she’ll have to find out about a million times. Try to keep a sense of humor and a cold beer in the fridge. Both will help.
January 3rd, 2007 at 7:41 pm
I TOLD YOU SO!!!!!!!
You must not have taken enough notes at the SSP.
IT ONLY GETS WORSE…..SORRY…..
HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY!!!!!
ha ha you aren’t close enough to hit me…ha