Suburban Goddess

The bad thing about a divorce, is people inexplicably choose sides. In some cases, both parties actively recruit people, but I think in my case, that isn’t happening. I know Chip would never bad-mouth me (at least, I’d like to think so. But I’ve obviously been wrong about him before…) And I, in turn, am doing my best to remain neutral where we share friends.

Enter the entire neighborhood.

If one were keeping score, (and I’m not, so please don’t think that way), the tallies would definitely be leaning towards the opposing team. This honestly does not surprise me; Chip is the outgoing social type that everyone loves, whereas I am the cold, aloof bitch that everyone thinks is too stuck up to socialize. (Actually, nothing could be farther from the truth, I’m just cripplingly shy, but since I rarely come out of my shell, that information is kind of hard to share).

But over the past few weeks, I am disturbed by the fact that some people are just downright RUDE to me lately. And honestly, I don’t get it. HE left ME. I did not choose this path; it was chosen for me. So I have to wonder what the hell their perception of my situation is? I mean, I don’t expect anyone to chose sides, but to treat me like complete dirt for no apparent reason other than the fact that I’ll be moving shortly just doesn’t make sense. And it disapoints, angers, and frustrates me. No, I wasn’t the perfect wife. Yes, I made mistakes. But I would have given that man the rest of my life if he would have just changed his mind. So how come he’s coming out clean on the other side, and I’m the bad guy?

I know I only have myself to blame. I don’t actively participate in gossip. I’m not saying I don’t LISTEN, but I don’t pass things on. And I don’t really want to be fodder for others, so I keep a low profile and try to stay out of trouble. This annoys the gossip-mongers. Yet somehow, they still find their way into my business, and then when I run into them they give me those condescending, patronizing smiles… oh, poor Kristie…. did you hear? Her husband LEFT her…. I wonder what she did???

Let me tell you, this just sucks. You wait your entire teenage life to get away from the bullshit of high school, only to find that life outside is just a bigger, extended version of it. Now I understand; while I was in school, I wondered what the purpose was…. now I see, it had nothing to do with knowledge, and everything to do with survival in the fish pond….

This entry was posted on May 17, 2007 at 6:51 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.