Suburban Goddess

I woke up this morning, and could not move. I don’t know what it feels like to be hit by a bus, but I’m pretty sure it feels something like this. But I have to tell you, the events leading up to this feeling were entirely worth it. And I’d do it again.

I met a friend (C) at the lake last night after work. He recently had his jet-ski worked on, and wanted to test it out, so he invited me to come along. I know he’s fully aware that I have a need for speed, but I think he probably forgot… at least, until I drove.

The lake was choppy, but I was so thankful to be outdoors and in the water again, that it didn’t bother me. It’s been three years since I’ve been in that kind of environment, and that was just a day. Chip wasn’t a fan of water sports, so that entire aspect of my life disappeared until C was kind enough to re-introduce me to it yesterday. I climbed on the back and hung on for dear life as he opened the throttle, heading for a small island on the lake. Since it had been so long, I admit I was somewhat terrified.

“If you throw me off, you’re coming with me!” I warned. He laughed, but I was serious. He showed me no mercy, pressing on at 50mph until we reached the island, where I quickly volunteered to jump off and let him go test the ski.

For a moment, I questioned myself. This really wasn’t fun; I was scared, self-conscious (bikini, ick!), and I didn’t want to be whiney. I certainly didn’t want to ruin the fun for C, so I figured I’d just tough it out until he got tired. When he came back to hand off the keys, I balked momentarily. I was really nervous about driving, because it wasn’t mine & I didn’t want to break it since it just came out of the shop. But he insisted. I finally relented, taking the keys in a gesture I can honestly call compromising.

I think certain people come into your life for a reason. C pushes me to be myself, even when it’s myself that is standing in the way.

I timidly pushed the ski out about a hundred yards from the island, taking it pretty slow for a few minutes… until the natural redneck instinct kicked in. I opened the throttle and headed for the waves. Suddenly, I felt like a kid again, reminded of all the time I spent on the river… The spray from the waves splashed across my body… the water at the perfect summertime temperature…the wind in my hair, the smell of seaspray… I returned to the shore with a huge smile on my face…

This time, when I climbed on the back, I was suddenly comfortable, bracing myself against the impact of the waves, laughing hysterically as C pushed the ski faster.

We headed over to a popular beach bar, where I completely broke character and had a beer for the first time in over 15 years. As I listened to the boats roar by in the distance, the sounds of comfortable conversation intertwined with the warm summer breeze coming off the lake, I felt completely, totally, and absolutely at peace. C has the most wicked, intelligent wit that I’ve ever had the pleasure of sparring with, and as we teased one another, I found myself laughing freely again. Not that forced, fake laughing you find yourself doing when you’re caught in uncomfortable small talk; it was the type of pure, genuine, joy of life laughter that bubbles up from inside and spills out involuntarily.

As we stood up to leave, I felt the effect of the single beer. A thought crossed my mind, and I started to giggle. C looked at me with curiosity.

“What’s so funny?”

“I have a feeling I’m going swimming now.”

“Oh, no, I’ve never flipped this thing. You can’t flip it.”

Hmmm. Really. Well, I’m sure he’s never had an Amazon quite like me on the back of it, either… Needless to say, not even five minutes later, he made a sudden right turn and, true to my word, not only did I go swimming, but I took him down with me… We both came up laughing, each blaming the other. (Honestly, I think it was me, but I’ll never admit it..) We climbed back on, soaking wet, and C told me he wanted me to see the north side of the lake. We headed out past the lighthouse at full throttle where the lake was especially rough.

You know the expression, “I saw that coming?” Yeah, well, I didn’t. I felt us catch air, I felt myself pitch sideways, and then I don’t remember anything except this sensation of rolling on top of water before I found myself coughing uncontrollably and gasping for air. I had a mental image of skipping a rock across a pond, only the rock was me, and the rock was screaming all the way, which wasn’t too bright on my part, because if I’d kept my mouth SHUT, I might not have ingested quite as much water… Simultaneously, I had a mental image of people sitting out on the pier, sipping their late afternoon cocktail, watching us float gracefully through the air…head, feet, head, feet…. before landing with a most ungraceful splash…. “Ohhhhhhhh, man…. that looks like it hurt!”

Yeah. Have you ever hit the water at 50mph? I have. It smarts.

When I finally shook the impact off and could catch my breath, I turned to look for C, who was about 30 feet in front of me. The jetski was about another 30 feet ahead of him. I’m not much for math, but my quick mental calculation went something like:

Me + air + momentum = Holy crap, that hurt like a mother$#%$^

But I couldn’t do anything but laugh at the expression on C’s face, who looked absolutely stunned that he was floating in the water.

“That’s never happened to me!” he exclaimed. Well, I am honored to say, I popped that cherry… Grace is not only a trait that alludes me, but it also seems to take leave of those who are in my presence, too. What can I say? It’s a gift.

We climbed back on again (moving a little slower) and headed to the north side of the lake, where the water was decidedly calmer. The deep blue velvet of choppy waters gave way to smooth black glass where the brilliant blues, pinks and purples of the sunset reflected a calmness inside that I haven’t felt in a very long time. We stopped for a moment to just listen, shutting off the engine and sitting in total serene silence. The brilliant orange sun was sinking into the deep green of the forest, the sky aflame with swashes of incredible color.

It was absolutely beautiful.

It’s moments like that one when I can pull things back into perspective. No matter how hard life seems at times, I have to remember it’s moments like this that I’m working towards.

Because it’s moments like this when you realize there’s so much more out there, if you’re willing to just let go and let someone show you another way to get there. Even if they do throw you off along the way.

This entry was posted on July 25, 2007 at 9:02 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.