Wired
When I woke up yesterday, the dog was pacing nervously back and forth in front of my bedroom door… since he does this every morning, I didn’t really think anything of it. As I put on my fluffy white robe, tying the sash firmly around my waist, I walked sleepily to the back door, letting the dog out as I do every morning.
I noticed there was a distinct coffee smell coming from the kitchen. Since I didn’t MAKE any coffee, I looked around until I found the culprit; about the same time, the dog came bouncing back in, pacing nervously.
I reached down to find an empty Starbucks bag; whole bean, dark roast, espresso beans…. I tunred the bag upside down slowly with an incredulous look on my face, then looked down at the dog, who continued to pace nervously, whining slightly…
The damn dog ate the entire bag.
“Did you EAT this?” I said, holding the bag in front of the dog’s nose. He hung his head and continued to walk back and forth… I couldn’t help it, I started to laugh.
“Sorry, dog, you’re going to have to ride that buzz out.”
He continued to pace for eight full hours. Particularly interesting, Starbucks beans apparently give dogs a flaming case of gas, and occasionally I would catch a whiff of rebound bean… Each time he walked past me, he would whine slightly, as if to say, “Please help me! I’m having a heart attack!” before emitting a tiny “poof.”
And that was my entertainment for the day.
Currently, the dog is completely passed out at my feet. Don’t worry; he’s recovered nicely.