Three Months
My friend D has complete relationships in three months. Whenever I hear from him, I can always tell what month he’s in; Month #1 is when he’s completely smitten. The girl is perfect, amazing, wonderful, “the one.”
This is the point I tell him to call me back in two months. Then I’ll get excited for him.
Month #2 is always: “the girl is perfect, BUT…” I have another friend who likes to refer to this phase as the “tarnish starting to show.” Either one is a pretty accurate description; it’s when people’s true colors start to come out. After all, you can only hide the REAL you for so long before it starts scratching it’s way out.
Month #3 is: “Oh my God, I have to get rid of this girl.” This one is usually my favorite where he’s concerned, because this is the phase that the best stories come from. When I was married, I actually felt sorry for him, because he seemed to be totally clueless as to what is important in a relationship.
Now I realize it’s pure genius. He gets to the heart of a person in three months, and if it’s not what he’s looking for, he cuts the ties and moves on. He doesn’t settle for less. He once referred to it as constantly “upgrading,” and at the time I thought that concept was brutal, but now I understand the importance of never settling for less.
I refuse to go into a relationship just for the sake of being in one.
July 28th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Lol… laughing… At some point in time, god knows when, it became abnormal to be single. I go out with a friend who happens to be a woman, and BANG we are a couple. I’ve taken this for a few months now, but am begining to suspect I should some how break this standard keeps getting forced down both our understanding of friendship. Some sort of… whats that word… Ah.. .Hierarchical road map which every one of us MUST abide with. It is pissing me off.
I wonder at your friend going through so many without realizing commitment of even friendship. Shrug,, I’ve dated a few ladies, and am friends with each still, most of them were not ready for me and one I was not yet ready for. Commitment issue mostly. I come from a family line finds it pretty easy to fall in love, to easy. Yet I’ve trust issues now, from having the ole heart busted way to good the last go round.
I hear other women using that same term, that they wont “Settle for”. I look at that and wonder if its simply just an excuse to not work on their selves, or to not work at: their self, spirituality, emotions, communications skills, etc.. Then (Incredulously) I hear guys saying stuff like “Its all about Me”
Personally I believe there is this nearly consuming passion inside a healthy, loving, knowing relationship. One which allows a belief in God, creativity, freedom of will, and intimacy of a defiant friendship both partners are passionate about. In the mean time, I will settle for friendships, what intimacy I am allowed with others, and get to know myself better. I learned belonging within my solitude a while back, I’m pretty cool to be in solitude with. Call me crazy, but its not to bad a place to visit when I’ve no friends occupy good conversation or sharing.