I am NOT a dainty flower.
Over the years I’ve become a little hardened and cynical. I’ve learned to do things for myself simply because I had to. There were times in my life where there was a slight reprieve; I allowed someone to “take care of me,” only to be discarded like yesterday’s trash in the end.
Damn it, I’ve earned my independence. It’s been a HARD road, and I’m proud of where I am.
Sometimes my determination is misunderstood; people accuse me of being proud, stubborn, or at times, stupid. I’ll admit, there are times when I should exercise more caution, but I will not back down from life. I’ve had my share of falls. I survived. I might have gotten scratched up, taken a few black eyes, and broke a thing or two, but I LEARNED.
If I am not given a chance, how will I ever learn? If I do not fall, how will I understand the importance of getting back up?
My naivité leads me into what many would consider dangerous situations. Compared to my past life, this one is a cakewalk. I refuse to live a life in fear anymore; I will live boldly and take chances. I cannot help what I have become; life has made me this way. And while it would be nice to be “taken care of,” I just don’t have the time to wait around for someone to fill that role. I want to live NOW.
Until I am ready, I just feel the need to do things for myself. I wish people could understand that sometimes. Yes, I am afraid to ask for help. It seems that help is always conditional; I don’t deal with debt well. And I enjoy the challenge; I enjoy pushing myself past my boundaries, getting outside of my comfort zone, and seeing what I am truly capable of.
Sometimes I surprise myself.
May 22nd, 2008 at 8:10 pm
WELL SAID
May 23rd, 2008 at 3:46 am
It’s funny, really, because I always say that I’d like someone to take care of me, but the last time I had someone who would, I drove the poor thing off.