Suburban Goddess

One of my trademarks is the fact that I always have my sunglasses on my head. It started as self-defense; I crushed/lost/rolled-over/misplaced so many pairs that I soon discovered the safest place for them (and also the ONLY place where I’d remember where they are) is on my head.

I didn’t realize that this had become such a habit until I had an exercise with my staff. I gave them each a piece of paper and told them to draw a stick figure of everyone in the room. The only catch was that you had to add just ONE item to the stick figure to identify it.

On mine, they put sunglasses on my head. Everyone identified me immediately.

So a couple of weeks ago, I reached up to absentmindedly twirl a piece of hair when I noticed I have a HOLE in my head where my sunglasses rest; two perfectly matched indentions on either side where the nose rests lay on my skull. I immediately freaked out.

“I have a HOLE in my head!” I shrieked as my cubicle-mate laughed out loud. With my brow furrowed, I examined the damage. Yes, it was right where nose rests were, and have been, for the past four years.

Later, at lunch, I climbed into my friend’s truck and announced, “I have a HOLE in my head.”

He snickered.

“It’s not funny! I have two HOLES! Here… and here!” I pointed to my deformed cranium as he continued to laugh at me. “It’s NOT FUNNY! What if I go bald? What will that look like?”

“Well, at least you’ll have somewhere to put your glasses.”

“I don’t like you right now.”

This entry was posted on May 30, 2008 at 12:20 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.