Suburban Goddess

Today, I had to get Alex to a doctor.  She spent all night coughing, and this morning the cough turned wheezy, and came with every other breath.  I knew that one of her friends had pneumonia, so I decided to take her in today instead of waiting for Monday.

When I went to the first clinic, I placed down my insurance card (Alex is still covered under Chip’s insurance).  The secretary looked at it quickly, then shoved it back.  “Does she have a primary care physician?”

“Yes, but they’re closed today.  I need someone to look at her today.”

“We can’t see her here; we’re a primary care facility, and she already has a primary care physician.”

“Yes, but they’re CLOSED.”  I said patiently.  Behind me, Alex went into another coughing fit.  “I’ll just pay out of pocket then.  Someone needs to look at her.”

“Sorry, ma’am.  We can’t help you.”  And then she rudely closed the glass in my face, leaving me with a sick three year old and an insurance card in hand.  In complete disbelief, I walked out, heading to another clinic further up the street.  As soon as I pulled the card out there, the nurse started to shake her head.

“Sorry, ma’am.  We don’t accept Cigna.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I said incredulously. “Then let me put it on my credit card.”

“Sorry, ma’am.  We’re a private facility; we require insurance.”  Again, Alex coughed pitifully, even covering her cough with her little hand.  (I’m so proud of her when she does this.)  After arguing with the nurse for a few more moments, I was rewarded with another glass door to the face.

I see lobbying in my future.  I HAVE insurance, and can’t get healthcare.  This is F-ing ridiculous with a capital F.

Furious and frustrated, I headed back out to the car when my phone rang.  I had a mini-meltdown, explaining my situation to the person on the other end who told me of a clinic on the other side of town, by my old house.  He assured me I wouldn’t have any trouble there, so I loaded up Alex for the THIRD time and headed to another clinic.  Along the way, I called the X to inform him of what was going on with his kid.

“I want to talk about changing Alex over to my insurance,” I started, explaining the situation.  At this point, I don’t know what went wrong, but he kept telling me he never had a problem with his insurance.  Every time I would try to explain it to him, he would tell me about some clinic next to his house that he went to.

“Have you taken HER there?”

“Well, no, but I’ve never had a problem.”  Now, I know this is Chip’s idea of being helpful, but given the frustration level, the heat, the threat of having to come out of pocket for this whole excursion, and his ability to make ANYTHING about him…. well, I’d had enough.  Alex was crying and coughing, so I tersely cut the conversation short and hung up.  The phone started to ring, but I didn’t answer; I knew I would say many, many things that I would regret later.

Luckily, my friend was right; the clinic took us immediately.  Two chest x-rays later, the doctor told me she had bronchitis.  Again.  So they hooked her up to a breathing machine (which she handles like a champ), and she sat quietly, breathing in deeply.  A few moments into it, she pointed behind me with a smile.  My friend had stopped by to check on us.

For a moment, I was overwhelmed with emotion.  I cannot say that I do not have people here in Texas anymore.  So many people have done so much for me, so much that I never expected.  I lost so much faith in people in my divorce, because so many people lied to me or weren’t there for me… that I’d forgotten how nice it was when people DIDN’T do those things.  He gave me a big hug and planted a kiss on Alex’s head before continuing on his way, leaving me to re-evaluate my opinion of the state of the human condition.

Perhaps they’re all not steaming piles of crap.

But speaking of, I finally checked my voicemail to find a message that I was “F’ing RUDE for hanging up.” Granted, I could have been nicer, but it was 100 degrees, I’d just been rejected by two clinics, and my daughter is crying and coughing and all I wanted was a little help from the child’s father. I tried to call the  X back repeatedly (after I’d calmed down) to tell him the state of his daughter.  In typical ball-less fashion, he will not answer his phone or return my calls.  That infuriates me more than anything; what if Alex was in the hospital?  What if it was something REALLY important?  I only call him about Alex or things concerning Alex; his expectations of me being “nice” when he refuses to listen to what I’m saying is delusional.

His relationship with his other X was the one I kept looking to; I’d hoped that someday he & I could get to that friendly state.  Today was definitely a step in the WRONG direction.  I’ve never wanted to go Carrie Underwood on someone so bad my entire life.

Between the insurance and the X, it’s amazing that I kept the Redneck in the box today…. but she was clawing, scratching, and cussing like you wouldn’t believe. In the meantime, $700 out of pocket later, my daughter is finally resting peacefully, able to sleep for a little while without her tiny body being racked by coughing fits.  And to me, that is worth any amount of crap I have to put up with.

This entry was posted on June 21, 2008 at 2:00 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.