Why Is It Always In The Middle Of The Night?
I was sound asleep at 2am when a horrible noise jolted me from my peaceful slumber. It sounded like a gunshot; a real gunshot, not those cheesy Hollywood sound effects. That quick, indescript POP. It was followed immediately by something that sounded like hail hitting glass.
I crept from my bed, pulling the baseball bat from beneath the mattress. Bear did not bark, so I assumed if there was someone trying to get in the house, they had either failed miserably or Bear decided he’d finally had enough of me forgetting to feed him…
As I crept towards the bathroom (it’s always that damn bathroom, the bathroom I just HAD to have), I reached around the corner with one hand, flicking the light switch before pulling my hand back to safety. Cautiously, I peeked around the corner; I half expected to see the window terrarium cracked, but it wasn’t. Still, the “tik, tik, tik” sound continued. I pulled the bamboo shade back from the glass door and watched in quiet horror as crack after crack kept appearing in the glass.
Tik. Tik. Tik. Tik.
An intricate spiderweb pattern was progressing towards all four corners of the door. I tried to establish what had started the whole thing, but there was nothing. No bullet hole, no BB, no overly large insect (although I wouldn’t put it past one of those monstrous tree roaches. Bastards.)
It was like the glass just gave up.
I continued to watch it “tik, tik tik” for a few moments until the “tikking” finally subsided, leaving a stunning display of destruction in it’s wake. If I wasn’t so annoyed by the whole thing, I would have found it incredibly beautiful.
However, I cannot stop thinking about 1) how much does it cost to replace a door like this, and 2) how in the hell am I supposed to hang it?
(sigh)
I’m half tempted to keep it and find someway to seal the glass. It’s such a beautiful metaphor for my psyche at the moment.
July 24th, 2008 at 9:14 am
First, it’ll probably be cheaper than you think.
Second, ask at church and see if there’s someone who does this for a living. Chances are they’ll give you a church discount.
Third, in the mean time, clear packing tape over the cracks, on the outside of the shower, will keep it safe while you use it.
July 24th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
hmmmmmmm-maybe it was a hungry Texas squirrel trying to get inside to eat those Bastard Roaches! (I always hated that door)
July 27th, 2008 at 11:44 am
You know, they make clear epoxies and I’m sure one of them is waterproof. Add a plastic painter’s spatula to the mix and you probably could keep it.