Comments on: Nightmares http://blog.maclaughlinstudios.com/2008/07/25/nightmares/ "Your love life is such a disaster, they should put orange cones all around you..." Mon, 17 Oct 2011 10:36:16 -0400 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1 By: Alan Robinson http://blog.maclaughlinstudios.com/2008/07/25/nightmares/comment-page-1/#comment-312419 Alan Robinson Mon, 28 Jul 2008 20:00:34 +0000 http://blog.maclaughlinstudios.com/?p=854#comment-312419 Yeah, I had that going for a long while as well. The words which seem to build themselves together of their own violation be said to the X. Hundreds of times, a few each week at minimum. The dreams are a healthy sign, unbelievably healthy. Civility requires consciousness, a will to actually empathize, one can not actually be civil to another who is incapable of empathy... One can be cool, non projecting, or at minimum pity them. Civility is not possible without projecting that there is a person with responsive behavior. I would wish it were not true, but I think it is. Fits with the nature of wisdom: As long you are ready to admit you know nothing, you are wise. As soon you believe yourself wise, you are no longer wise. Children see through these things with more clarity we adults do. I would never attempt to pretend or act around a child, bad, bad, bad, bad. Children play a game called Victim, rescuer, accuser: Be very careful this one, it gives an energy to each player, and they think they are not playing when they simply change roles. Be very sure you are playing the ADULT, not this CHILDS game!!! Long term sustainability, or better good for all, or do unto others as they should do you, these are each Adult choices of value. Decide not to be a victim, accuser, or rescuer is what adults do. Yeah, I had that going for a long while as well. The words which seem to build themselves together of their own violation be said to the X. Hundreds of times, a few each week at minimum. The dreams are a healthy sign, unbelievably healthy. Civility requires consciousness, a will to actually empathize, one can not actually be civil to another who is incapable of empathy… One can be cool, non projecting, or at minimum pity them. Civility is not possible without projecting that there is a person with responsive behavior. I would wish it were not true, but I think it is. Fits with the nature of wisdom: As long you are ready to admit you know nothing, you are wise. As soon you believe yourself wise, you are no longer wise. Children see through these things with more clarity we adults do. I would never attempt to pretend or act around a child, bad, bad, bad, bad.

Children play a game called Victim, rescuer, accuser: Be very careful this one, it gives an energy to each player, and they think they are not playing when they simply change roles. Be very sure you are playing the ADULT, not this CHILDS game!!! Long term sustainability, or better good for all, or do unto others as they should do you, these are each Adult choices of value.

Decide not to be a victim, accuser, or rescuer is what adults do.

]]> By: Mom http://blog.maclaughlinstudios.com/2008/07/25/nightmares/comment-page-1/#comment-312394 Mom Sat, 26 Jul 2008 00:44:54 +0000 http://blog.maclaughlinstudios.com/?p=854#comment-312394 Is it really all that important they be "civil"? Did you really expect them to be? Stay on your side of the gym, let them stay on there's, I'm not going to bash just them, all of you need to grow up some. Yes you were betrayed, disappointed and treated like crap. From what I've seen if you're waiting for an apology you won't get one. EVER.. Yes they cheated on you, do you expect them to admit it outright? Ain't gonna happen and again, don't expect an apology from either of them. EVER .. Personally I think the three of you SHOULD BE CIVIL to each other around ALL THE KIDS whenever the three of you are together but my gut tells me that will never happen. You have your issues, she's got her issues and to me the X just doesn't give a shit. You're not his "problem" but for now TOW is and that's who he's chosen to be with so let them be. I'm sorry you have to go through this crap with them, I remember my mother telling me at one time "You'll come out a stronger person from all this" well she was right, I honestly believe you will too. From what I saw with your X when I was around, he couldn't show his emotions unless he was drinking, well IF TOW has changed that for him more power to her, BUT HE'S NOT YOUR PROBLEM anymore either and in a round about way you should be thanking TOW because honestly the time's I stayed with you guys I could tell neither of you were happy, and even Alex, (and I still think he was jealous of her at first) couldn't save your marriage, he already had TOW on the side before she was born. So really, why the rage? Are you worried about what people think because he had cheated on you so long and no one told you? Personally I'd be thankful it was over and for the opportunity to meet someone who love's you for you. IT WILL HAPPEN! In spite of what you were called throughout your marriage to Chip (I heard some of the names dear) you do have a lot of wonderful qualities and a beautiful little girl. You have endless opportunities ahead of you, for you and Alex and as much as you may hate it so does Chip. You won't be together as a "family" since he bailed out on your marriage, and that's sad, he may stay with Darlene, that's his perogative, you may hitch up with someone or go it alone but try try try to focus on the positive side of this whole situation. Hell, you could still be sitting in that big ass house by yourself with Alex while he's piddeling in the garage every free moment he has or down the street with the SWINGER 'S getting drunk. Gee, doesn't that sound like fun and a great way to raise a child? Now go grab Alex and put on her Dora life jacket, load up your wave runner and hit the lake TOGETHER. Is it really all that important they be “civil”? Did you really expect them to be? Stay on your side of the gym, let them stay on there’s, I’m not going to bash just them, all of you need to grow up some. Yes you were betrayed, disappointed and treated like crap. From what I’ve seen if you’re waiting for an apology you won’t get one. EVER.. Yes they cheated on you, do you expect them to admit it outright? Ain’t gonna happen and again, don’t expect an apology from either of them. EVER .. Personally I think the three of you SHOULD BE CIVIL to each other around ALL THE KIDS whenever the three of you are together but my gut tells me that will never happen. You have your issues, she’s got her issues and to me the X just doesn’t give a shit. You’re not his “problem” but for now TOW is and that’s who he’s chosen to be with so let them be. I’m sorry you have to go through this crap with them, I remember my mother telling me at one time “You’ll come out a stronger person from all this” well she was right, I honestly believe you will too. From what I saw with your X when I was around, he couldn’t show his emotions unless he was drinking, well IF TOW has changed that for him more power to her, BUT HE’S NOT YOUR PROBLEM anymore either and in a round about way you should be thanking TOW because honestly the time’s I stayed with you guys I could tell neither of you were happy, and even Alex, (and I still think he was jealous of her at first) couldn’t save your marriage, he already had TOW on the side before she was born. So really, why the rage? Are you worried about what people think because he had cheated on you so long and no one told you? Personally I’d be thankful it was over and for the opportunity to meet someone who love’s you for you. IT WILL HAPPEN!
In spite of what you were called throughout your marriage to Chip (I heard some of the names dear) you do have a lot of wonderful qualities and a beautiful little girl. You have endless opportunities ahead of you, for you and Alex and as much as you may hate it so does Chip. You won’t be together as a “family” since he bailed out on your marriage, and that’s sad, he may stay with Darlene, that’s his perogative, you may hitch up with someone or go it alone but try try try to focus on the positive side of this whole situation. Hell, you could still be sitting in that big ass house by yourself with Alex while he’s piddeling in the garage every free moment he has or down the street with the SWINGER ‘S getting drunk. Gee, doesn’t that sound like fun and a great way to raise a child? Now go grab Alex and put on her Dora life jacket, load up your wave runner and hit the lake TOGETHER.

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