Black
I’ve been a foul mood lately… multiple events are getting to be more than I can handle, coupled with life issues that make life more, well, complicated.
I don’t like being cranky. I hear the crankiness spill out of my mouth, and I try to catch it but it’s too late. I just don’t have any tolerance right now, and I hate that. I hate contributing to the negativity. I want to be positive.
I think the thing that bothers me the most is just the stunning display of disrespect I see for others. I feel like I’m surrounded in nastiness sometimes, pulling me down to that level.
I don’t want to be at that level.
But sometimes, to shake them loose, you have to make them cry.
August 14th, 2008 at 9:56 am
Maybe I’m reading you wrong, but.. If I’m right: Your individuation is kicking back in. I went through similar. Opened up with nearly everyone, and got close to one person, overstepped privacy just a tad and got slammed hard. It took me a couple of weeks withdrawal and more self evaluation to realize messing up is just a part of life, we can try, but we will occasionally hurt people. All I did was suggest the wrong example of another person in comparison to myself, the example got back to the other person who slammed me very hard emotionally in reaction. That person had no grasp how fragile I was at the time, but… I lived through it. While re-evaluating, I found more attention needed in choosing what I said to which specific person… Not an easy task, some can handle more than others…
You are awake, consciously. Not many are as awake you are, nor do they see half of what you have all ready figured out. I would rather have pulled a train across Texas, than have gone through all that, but once your done,,,, “On top of the World Ma!!! Look Ma I’m on top of the world” It is worth the struggle. I joke at people that no matter how hard the problem, there is not one so difficult I cant just walk away, which is fine for intrapersonal stuff, but not the interpersonal.
Your doing great from my comparative viewpoint… Fantastic even!!!
NPD co-dependant re-covered… The bitchin parts are done!!! sigh… and you are getting there!
August 14th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
With the last comment, I can only assume you’re talking about some guy who won’t leave you alone. In that instance, yeah, gonna have to make him cry. My ex-wife used to tell me how amazed she was at guy’s persistence when she’d be singing at a gig. I think she told me that she actually vomited on one guy and he still kept after her! Men often don’t understand subtlety. We need things explained slowly, loudly and repeatedly.
Then again, some particularly aggressive guys just need a good, hard kick.
Oh, go ahead and do it. You know you want to and you’ll feel better after.
August 14th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
Misery loves company……I love to make people cry it keeps me from crying!
August 14th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
*siffle* You made me cry… tears of joy! Get on with your bad self, pay it forward!