Suburban Goddess

Everyone around me has electricity… but I don’t.

WTF??

Okay, now that’s out of the way, so we can move on to more important things.  Like how embarassing it is to have to bring your kid into work and she has an “accident,” and you don’t have anything to change her into.  And then, after you rinse out her shorts and underwear, wringing them as tightly as possible before putting them back on the child damp (because you can’t have your kid running bare butt though a corporate office, where everyone else has electricity and perfectly coiffed hair), she then spills Sprite all over the last remaining dry garment (her shirt).

I heard the wail from across the office, flying down the corridor as fast as possible to find her distraught, pointing at her shirt with that big sad face.  “Mommy,” she cried, pointing downward. “I spilled it.”

So I dry her off as much as possible with flimsy Kleenex, thinking that perhaps this is my cue to leave early, but oh no, I’m slow… a few moments later I hear her wailing again, but this time it’s the “I’m really hurt” wail. The wail that makes every mother’s heart stop.  Again, I sprint down the corridor, heads popping out of cubicles like a corporate version of Whack-A-Mole.  I follow the sound of the wail, which is coming from the bathroom.  No huge emergency; it’s just that the door is too heavy for her tiny arms to open, so she was trapped inside.

I swept her into my arms, kissing the tears while chastising her for going without a grown-up (which I must have done a million times last week).  As I walked her back to my cubicle, soggy now from head to toe, I wondered how in the hell other mothers do this with more than one kid.

Late in the afternoon, there was birthday cake…. like the kid needed any more reason to go insane.  After licking the icing from the cake (much to the enjoyment of my co-workers), I prepared myself for the inevitable sugar spin.  I was not disappointed.  Within moments, she began growling.

Yes, this is my little angel.

My last line of defense was to plug her into my laptop; the ultimate mommy desperation card.  Yes, I have a Dora video game.  It plays that insipid map song that I despise so much… but if it pacifies my child for one hour in a corporate environment, it’s worth it to hear that stupid map singing in my head for the rest of the evening.

On the way home, she fell sound asleep in her carseat.  I’ll admit, I had a moment of irritation.  I even contemplated shaking the car from side to side for a moment…. but I got over it. Even now, as I clean the Cheeto residue from my iPhone, I have to admit I have a really good kid. She’s allowed to have a bad day.

Considering the circumstances, I’m amazed it took her this long to have one.

This entry was posted on September 22, 2008 at 6:06 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.