Suburban Goddess

I only have access to dial-up. Blogging from an iPhone is futile, thanks to Apple’s lovely word-recgonition software and my fat fingers on a virtual keyboard. I’ve lost track how long I’ve been here; all I know is I’m constantly being fed, almost as if they are fattening me up for the kill… Speaking of, I’ve now been subjected to old VCR tapes of my father’s dirt-track glory days and my liberal relatives going headfirst with my redneck relatives; If I hear one more racial slur about our President-elect, I might don a white sheet myself just to sneak out of here…

I haven’t gone through complete Internet withdrawls yet, but I’m starting to get the shakes. I don’t know how much longer I can survive… Thank God for the 3G network…

If I don’t make it out alive, I love you all. Please bury me with my red Swingline stapler, my iPhone, and that picture of Bora Bora. Meanwhile, I have to go. Another quart of Angelo Broccato spumoni is begging to be devoured. It’s a tough job, but I’m up to it.

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you all have a wonderful holiday!

This entry was posted on November 26, 2008 at 6:35 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.