When Did This Happen?
Over the course of the past few months, my life has changed drastically. Again. Nothing in it is recognizable; I’m in a constant state of change. Some people would be excited by that; me, I live in a constant state of panic. A funny thing happens when you live in a heightened state of anxiety; you don’t realize you’re not eating. You’re not eating because food lies on a higher plane in the realm of survival; without emotional stability, you don’t really give a crap about food.
So now that I have a “normal” job again (translation: a job that requires me to shower and look presentable), I pulled out all my professional clothes that went to the back of the closet when I lost my last corporate job. But something was different; all my “fat girl” clothes hung loosely around my hips… (I had no boobs to start with, so tops are ALWAYS baggy). I reached behind those clothes to that stash that every woman keeps in her closet; the “I’ll-get-back-into-these-someday” section. But try as I might, I haven’t been able to get there…
…until now.
These are clothes that haven’t seen the light of day in six years. These are my pre-Alex clothes. These are the clothes I’d pretty much given up all hope of ever getting into again but refused to throw away out of sheer stubborness and a total state of woman’s denial. And without any focus whatsoever on my physical appearance, I finally fit in them again.
Happy day!
I have six tiny dresses (and five new pairs of shoes) that are screaming for a field trip….