Emotional Strife Is Not Conducive To Creativity
It’s been a rough couple of weeks. Actually, it’s just been a SUCK kind of year; betrayals, lies, theives, bastards… I’ve learned not to ask the question, “What ELSE can possibly happen?” Inevitably, there has been an answer, and each answer is more disappointing than the last. Without my beautiful daughter to carry me through, I don’t know how I would have survived this year. She is my light, my life, my heart…. and even in the worst of times, she has an uncanny ability to make me smile through the tears.
All this crap has taken a sledgehammer to my creative drive; it’s hard to think at a higher level when you’re struggling with basic emotional survival. But somehow, through it all, God keeps presenting amazing little opportunities to me; glimmers of light and hope that keep my feet moving in the right direction. The trials are not aimed only at me; everyone in my company is dealing with major, heart-wrenching issues. Sometimes I feel like the weight of it all is bearing down upon us, trying its damndest to force us to just give up…. but there is a voice in my heart telling me this is simply the dark before the light. It’s an E! True Hollywood Story; the darkest times always precede amazing success. We are poised with so much potential, so much talent, so much promise… we just have to hang in there just a little bit longer…
Yesterday I was reminded why I chose to be part of this group. It was a difficult day to begin with, emotional insecurities weighing heavy on me; my heart was not really into the project. We were doing a promotional photo shoot for a new product, and I knew it would require high energy. As the girls started to show up and the shoot was underway, I found joy again; there is nothing that makes me feel better than making a woman feel good about herself. Especially women who’s self-esteem has been damaged by some careless, useless bastard who’s given her some bogus reason to doubt herself. By the end of the day, we got some incredible shots; the girls came alive behind the lens, and they left happy with the results (and this is BEFORE I even Photoshop them!) The foggy veil of pain lifted for a while, and I was reminded that my purpose on this planet is greater than myself; when I get out of my own head, and use that purpose to help someone else, amazing things start to happen.
So at this point, I have to get out of my head, move forward in the gift that God chose to give me, and trust that the path will come clear in time.
In the meantime, I have work to do.