Note to Self: Shut Up
After the little whiny-schpiel about my house on Monday, I was met at the daycare door with a long face.
“I have something I have to tell you.”
The chant began in my head immediately: No bad news. No bad news. No bad news. Unfortunately, it did not carry over into her head, because my daycare lady told me she would be closing her doors in two weeks.
You know how sometimes, you just can’t take anymore, and you just sort of emotionally shut down? It’s almost like there’s a little troll that lives in your head, and he’s an evil little bastard who takes great joy in watching you suffer, standing in front of the little electrodes that pulse in pain and giggling with glee as you stress out… but there’s a point where even he says, “oh damn… enough already,” and he’s kind enough to shut off that little pain switch so you’re left with a blissful numbness. Yeah. Thanks, little troll. It’s about damn time.
I closed my eyes to process the information. This meant there would be a phone call; if he gloated, Alex would be an orphan. I made the decision to wait until morning to make the call; sitting on my emotions is not something I’m good at, but I went against everything in my being with this one. I’m glad I did.
He continued to surprise me with his new attitude. He didn’t rub my nose in it in any way. I saw a glimpse of the man I married; kind, funny, and helpful. He admitted that running the business was harder than he anticipated. I told him I’d visit it that afternoon.
I know a few weeks ago, I swore up and down I’d roast in hell (paraphrasing) before I put my kid in his daycare, but that was because I just did not want to move her. Of course, I’d be lying if I said there weren’t personal reasons as well… I can admit that. But now I am in the position of having to make a choice. Do I put her in another daycare, at more money, with no guarantees of her happiness, just out of spite? And how much strife would THAT little prideful move cost me? Or do I give it a chance, hope this “New Improved X” sticks around, and everyone wins?
Here we go again… open the box, put the spoon in, dig it out, and take a big, old bite….