Suburban Goddess

When I got in my Jeep this morning, I reached for my phone charger as I usually do…. but it was not there. Perplexed (as I was the first time this happened to me), I lifted the towel in the seat next to me, looking for it. It’s possible I accidentally yanked it out, so I started to look around. That’s when I had the same bizarre realization that something wasn’t right… the back window was down. I had trouble wth it a couple of weeks ago, sliding down of its own free will, so it appeared my quick fix had failed.

That’s when I noticed my gym bag was missing.

At this point, realization dawned on me with red fury. Not again. These little punks had ransacked my car… and that’s when I realized with a sinking feeling that I’d left my purse on the floorboard behind my seat. Luckily, I had my debit card, credit card, and driver’s license in my pocket because I was too lazy to carry my purse in. But that laziness cost me a morning full of headaches as I set about canceling the other two credit cards and setting up monitoring of my credit reports, since the little bastards got my Social Security card and a couple of checkbooks.

Until my house had been broken into, I had never been touched by crime. Since then, with two car break-ins… I’m just MAD. I understand times are tough, but these little punks walking around neighborhoods, lurking in the shadows stealing stuff from hard-working and honest people just PISSES ME OFF. I mean, every time I get ahead, something like this happens. I’m starting to understand how the “shoot the burglar” law came into effect; it’s enough to make me want to shoot one. The sheer creepiness of it; I’m lying asleep and some little punk is prowling around my property, looking for any possible way to get in to steal my stuff… or worse, hurt my daughter or me. The brazeness of them doing it RIGHT IN MY DRIVEWAY infuriates me.

I think it’s time to get a bigger dog. They better pray I don’t ever catch them in the act.

A close friend stopped by the other day to check on me and make sure I was feeling okay. She was filling me in on all the latest gossip, when she referred to a lady as a “stank ho.” Alex, nearby, turned to look at us with a puzzled expression.

“What’s a ‘stank ho’?”

“Ask your stepmother, kid.”

“SHHHHHH!!!” I warned her, viciously.

“I’m sorry. Ask your Grammy instead.”

And this is the point I wish life had a rewind button.

Since my divorce, I’ve had, quite possibly, the three hardest years of my life. I have found strength I did not know I possessed. I am not afraid to stand up for myself, my feelings, and what I believe in anymore. If you don’t like it, I really don’t care. SO I’m going to tell you about a little experience I had with God. If you don’t like to hear about God, then don’t read it. But if you do… you’re going to love this one.

Admist a personal crisis a few weeks ago (pre-dizziness), knee-deep in some serious depression and emotional strife, I got a phone call. The phone call was from a principal. Apparently, months ago, I’d sent a resume to the school district fully expecting to be denied. I’ve applied for more teaching positions than I can count, only to be turned away by all of them because I never finished my degree. Annoyed that experience meant nothing, I started my own Photoshop group and started teaching. So needless to say, I almost fell out of the chair when the principal called me for an interview.

Honestly, I didn’t expect much. I’ve been disappointed so much lately that I didn’t even get my hopes up. But rather than blow it off, because no dreams are fulfilled if you don’t even try, I went.

I arrived at the interview half an hour early. I sat in the school parking lot with my portfolio and resume in my hand. I decided to take this moment to do something I don’t do nearly enough: I prayed. I talked to God in the most matter-of-fact tone I could muster.

“Okay, God. These past few years have really SUCKED for me. I’m not sure where I’m supposed to be anymore. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing anymore. I *think* I’m good at this stuff, so I’m guessing these are the gifts you gave me to use in this world. So here we go: if this is what you want me to do, please make it clear. I know this would be a dream opportunity for me, but if it’s not your will, then so be it. Just show me what is.”

I walked into the interview. I walked out with a job offer.

But not just any job offer…. my pay will relieve enormous financial pressures I’ve been under. I’ll be teaching in a state-of-the-art classroom with a built-in video studio. My class will work on full versions of the Adobe Master Suite. And I have almost free reign to teach them whatever I want within the realms of Media Technology.

Not just a job. A dream.

The only hurdle was getting accepted into an alternate teaching certification program. Technology professionals are the only exception to the “degree-required” rule. However, without the degree, you do have to be certified by a nationally-recognized program. I’d had my certification from Adobe some years ago, but the cost of maintaining it was too much, so I let it go. But thanks to my Photoshop group, which is recognized by Adobe, I am now able to take the certification exams for free. If I had not followed that dream, that opportunity would have not presented itself. I scheduled the first one, fully expecting to fail the first time because I took no time to study. Waiting in the parking lot, pre-exam, I prayed. Again.

“All right, God. It *feels* like you’re pushing me in this direction for a reason, but I’m not sure. If this is what you want me to do, please make your path clear for me. If not, it’s okay, just show me where you want me to go, and I will.”

I passed the test.

So the final hurdle was this certification program. I was starting to grow discouraged… time is running out, and I was afraid my window of opportunity would close, being shut tightly and wrapped up with all the government red tape I kept encountering. The people weren’t calling. I applied with four different programs, and heard nothing for three weeks. Time was running out. So yesterday, I put it out there to you… my friends, my family…. please…. send your prayers my way. Please, help me find my direction.

They called. I’m in.

There are skeptics that will say, “Oh, Kristie, you’re just being superstitious… you got that job because you’re good at what you do.” Maybe. But I’ve lost countless opportunities despite being good at what I do; why this? Why this one thing that I was unexplicably drawn to, this one thing that would ultimately be a dream come true for me? I don’t believe in destiny or fate anymore… I believe in God’s path for your life. And when you get off that path, things will go horribly awry; I believe he gives you the road signs to get back on track. But if you’re like me, you’re stubborn, and you plow past those signs and do what *you* think is best.

And He’ll knock you down until you listen.

So this is a thank you to everyone who sent your prayers to me yesterday. Thank you to everyone who has supported me. Thank you to everyone who wouldn’t let me rest, wouldn’t let me quit, and wouldn’t listen to me whine. And thanks especially to God, for making his path clear and the enormous amount of blessings he has given me. My life is turning in a brand-new direction… another complete change.

But for the first time, I have no fear, because I know He is with me.

“This crap is not working.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, the anti-nausea meds work, but the anti-dizzy stuff is useless.”

“Did they give you anything else, like an antibiotic or something to take it with?”

“Valium.”

“Well, maybe you’re supposed to take those, stupid.”

“Well, yeah… that makes sense doesn’t it? I need to get back to a normal daily routine, so LET’S PUT KRISTIE IN A COMA.”

“Maybe your doctor was simply making a statement about your mental state. It might be an improvement.”

“I hate you. But you might be right.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Jerk.”