I’m pretty sure my damn dog has a death wish. A few weeks ago, Pixel shows up with a huge muzzle. He actually looked cute with his big puffy face, but I knew that it couldn’t be good, so after careful examination, I found two small puncture wounds next to his nose and immediately freaked out.

“Oh my God!” I exclaimed. “I think he got bit by a snake!”

D took one look at him. “Yep.”

“Well, should we do something? I mean, I don’t want him to die!” (Especially since we just spent a small fortune on this stupid dog).

“He’ll be fine. It used to happen all the time to my dogs out here. Just part of being in the country.”

“Seriously, this shit is getting ridiculous. It’s like something is out to get him.”

“I know. It took me forever to train those snakes.”

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